Busted
For years I have joked that if there was a top 10 list of “most wanted house plant killers” I would be on it. Imagine my shock when I actually end up on one! Someone dropped this notice at my office.
ALVA SCHOEPP
CHARGES HAVE BEEN PRESSED AGAINST YOU FOR ATTEMPTED PLANT SLAUGHTER.
YOU HAVE ONE DAY TO WATER YOUR PLANT OR YOU WILL BE PUT ON TEMPORARY PROBATION.
DURING THIS PROBATION PERIOD YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO GREET YOUR PLANT DAILY…MOVE IT TO SUNLIGHT AT 5:00 PM AND PUT IT BACK FOR PEOPLE TO ENJOY AT 9:00 AM…TREAT IT LIKE Y OUR HUSBAND.
SIGNED
STEELE PLANT PATROLE
I have to plead innocent. It’s not my plant. Honest. It belongs to the Kidder County Historical Society but I will do my best to nurse it back to health.